My Sunshine

I usually only talk about our IVF journey at CCRM on this blog but I am going to come out and talk about a hobby that seems to be turning into a bit of moonlighting. PHOTOGRAPHY. Here is my latest favorite shot of Charlotte.

Charlotte and I were playing in her room one weekend late afternoon and I was trying to catch the the last bit of sun coming through her window....so I climbed into the window seat and waited for her to turn and look at me. I love the catch lights that make her dark brown eyes shine. This picture makes me feel warm like the Florida sunshine and reminds me of why we are going through all of this at CCRM. It also reminds me of how very lucky we are and why I am routing for all of you.

Over the last 18 months I have been getting to know my Nikon D90, took a class, practiced a ton, and then started building my portfolio. I have some slow weeks and some busy weeks with shoots. I have read and read and read - and it will never end.

If anyone is interested my photography blog is MaggieFullerPhotography.blogspot.com

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I have had my head down just grinding through each work week. Rather than "working for the weekend" I have been "working for Oct 19th".

I started the vivelle patches last week and had my first E2 blood draw this morning. I was a bit worried all day as I had a slow start during the only other FET I have done (why didn't that FET work again?) and I was doing IM shots of delestrogen. So, my E2 is only 30 something. So, now I have to take estrace every night. We are keeping my schedule the same - with everything riding on the u/s next Wednesday. So, head down......

P.S. the makeup remover that comes in the clinque gift bag works great at getting off the sticky residue from the patches.

Day 1

Day 1 of what? Well, my AF, which means it is zero weeks, day 1 of my pregnancy.

I post this b/c all day as I thought about how my FET is now kick-started I was reminded of one of my favorite bloggers post over 2 years ago.

I also had my re-group with the Wizard tonight. He is soo HARD to talk to on the phone. Like it is always so awkward. Not really sure what to think but I am not overwhelmingly happy. Yeah, he said day 6 embryos (all of ours) have less success than day 5 embryos. Fabulous. But he says he has high hopes b/c my body has carried a baby to full term. He also agreed with transferring 2 b/c of our history of non-success. When I told him I was disappointed (at the time) with my 30+ follicles, 22 eggs, 12 mature, 7 (or 10) fertilized....he basically disagreed with the whole thing and said it turned out better than average. The only thing to improve would be the number of mature eggs. Very interesting.

So, if all goes as planned, transfer will be 3 weeks from tomorrow. Time seems to have slowed down.

CCS Results!

I have no patience. I emailed the main email address at noon (10 Denver time) and just asked if they thought I would get a call today or if I should just relax and wait until Monday. I just couldn't stand it. At 1 my phone rang. It was Dawn, my long lost nurse. She said she got the results just this morning and had "really great news".

5 of 6 are normal

I never ever thought I would be typing that. Especially thinking back to 2 1/2 weeks ago when being told only 7 fertilized.

I asked which one was abnormal and why. It was the 4AB and it had an extra chromosome (don't know which one). So, the 5AA (my best) and the 4BC (worst) are normal.

Thanks for everyone's support. You all are great.

I feel hope creeping back in!

Waiting on 303

Well, I have to admit I have started checking my phone every 30ish minutes.....looking for the 303 area code. I think I may be jumping the gun!

What in the world are they going to tell me? If there was a way to cheat to find out (like taking a HPT or looking under the bed) I wouldn't be able to control myself.

Will they really call on Friday? Is 14 days average now? (Comment, please!)
Even if day 6 was a Friday before a holiday weekend?

Hopefully I will have an update in about 48 hours.

Frozen in Time

I am referring to the 6 embryos that are over 1800 miles away and are about a mile higher than me in the sky.

Today I found myself thinking about all the traits that are already decided about those embryos. Blue eyes, brown eyes, blonde hair, brown hair, fair skin, or skin than tans regardless of SPF 50, an extra chromosome here, a missing chromosome there, boy, girl, glasses, 20/20 vision. It is crazy to think all of those beautiful traits are decided and frozen in time.

Tomorrow will mark 1 week since the day 6 biopsy – so we should get a call a week from tomorrow. Obsessing will commence on Monday.

In the mean time I got my AF (9 days after retrieval) and sent the nurse an email asking for a tentative FET schedule. For some reason I thought my ask for a Thur/Fri transfer wouldn’t be an issue. I got my calendar last night and it is set for Oct 19th! (That would be a Tuesday). What am I going to do about it? Go with it. What else can I do? To be honest I was shocked with how soon it is and I am focusing on that rather than having to take off 3 more days of work. And it is “tentative” so one weird E2 result can move the date.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Day 6 Report

I didn't sleep well last night. I had dreams about the embryos all night - the reoccurring one being that there were 3 to biopsy. So in my dreams I was convincing myself that 3 was an okay number.

So, once the real day started I was immediately watching the clock (and yawning). I figured they would call around 12:30 my time. Well, I was walking into a meeting at 11 and my phone started ringing. I told my employee "I may not be able to be in this meeting" (thinking the worst) and ran down the hall.

It was John. He told me they were able to biopsy SIX today. Wow, Sunday when the embryo count was 7 I had no expectation of 6. So, this blew me out of the water. He told me they were all in the early blast stages yesterday (day 5) so they waited until today to do the biopsy. I wish I had asked if this is a bad sign???? Anyone know? Of course I have searched through the IVF connections board and it seems people have success with day 6 embryos.

I then asked for the quality grading. Detailed explanation here. I have put the chart below for reference.

So, they are all 6 day blasts. Again, I have no I idea if this is good or bad. But I am choosing to be positive!

Grading definition: Number (expansion grade), Inner Cell Mass grade (becomes the baby), Trophectoderm grade (becomes the placenta)

5AA

4AB

5BB

4BB

4BB

4BC (he said this is questionable but worth testing for information)

We are very happy. I think I can get through this 2WW. Although it may be a bit longer b/c of the holiday they will not be shipping out until Tuesday.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Expansion grade	Blastocyst development and stage status
1	Blastocoel cavity less than half the volume of the embryo
2	Blastocoel cavity more than half the volume of the embryo
3	Full blastocyst, cavity completely filling the embryo
4	Expanded blastocyst, cavity larger than the embryo, with thinning of the shell
5	Hatching out of the shell
6	Hatched out of the shell

ICM grade	Inner cell mass quality
A	Many cells, tightly packed
B	Several cells, loosely grouped
C	Very few cells

TE grade	Trophectoderm quality
A	Many cells, forming a cohesive layer
B	Few cells, forming a loose epithelium
C	Very few large cells