Thursday, September 29, 2011

Our new normal

I was so anxious to find out what our new normal would be - going from 1 daughter to 2 daughters and a son. It is calming to be in a routine and have a schedule. Even if I am back at work and it is non-stop.

The babies are now a little over 14 weeks old and wow, things just keep getting better. I remember about 10 weeks ago hitting the wall of exhaustion and thinking I would NEVER get to sleep again. I convinced myself of this. Well, I made it through and I am now averaging 7 hours a night! 6+ of which are straight! Holy Cow - it is fabulous. As I read other blogs of newborn twins my heart goes out to them.....those first 8 weeks are really not cool. I am here for anyone who needs a pep talk!!

Some recent pictures:

I have been meaning to post about the book I use - I never hear of anyone else using it but my sister introduced me to it. It is The Contented Little Baby Book. When I was pregnant with Charlotte I had no idea what to do with a baby when I brought her home - no idea when and how often to nurse, what to do with her, etc. This book provides very "strict" schedules based on age. The whole premise of the book is to teach your baby to sleep from 7pm to 7am. Um, yes please. There is a lot of over the top advice, but if you read it you can understand her thought process and take bits and pieces as you need. I tried to start following it around 6 weeks - which I think was a bit difficult as the babies still slept alot and wanted to eat more often. Right around 12 weeks they were able to start following the schedule and guess what, they started sleeping the longest stretch ever....between 6-7 hours straight. Just wanted to share. (There is a twin version, but I prefer the regular one)

Baby stats...

Bennett is cooing and making all kinds of fun noises. And when he smiled he pulls in his lips. He is HUGE - probably almost 17lbs and sleeping in 9month PJ's right now. He eats like a champ and is sleeping at night from 7pm-10pm (10-11 we have awake and eating time) then from 11pm - 6:45am. Rock on Bennett. He is starting to reach for toys and rolls onto his side. Bennett watches his big sister like a hawk.

Violet smiles the biggest smiles I have ever seen. Her mouth is open, her eyes wide, and she just makes your heart and soul happy. She is quiet except for her gassy grunts. An occasional coo (but loud) here and there. She was sleeping great but has gotten into a routine of waking around 5:30 rather than going all the way to 7. Maybe she is just extra hungry right now. She is also grabbing toys and kicks her legs up to roll to the side.

And for good measure...Charlotte. She has come out of this all a stronger, happier, more caring little girl. The first 8 weeks were hard for her too. But, she loves her brother and sister, talks about them growing bigger so they can do things with her. She says her ABC's, counts to 20, digs around the kitchen for food, sings twinkle little star to the babies, and holds Violet's hand in the car. Melt my heart.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

10 weeks, Our Sweet Spot

So, yesterday marks 10 weeks and I think we may have finally hit our "I'm going to make it" mark. I think it is a bit later than most, but these past 3 weeks have been not that great with D&C's and sickness that it took me a bit longer. I was able to take the babies for an hour walk and then do some weights after.....felt soo good to sweat and get my heart rate up. Makes me feel alive!

I have to say I am so proud that after 10 weeks (and all the other crap), I am still breastfeeding. I am starting to reap the benefits that people talk about - they gaze at me while nursing, hold my hand, and I just feel soo close with them. I love it.

I wish I could say the babies were sleeping for 6 or 7 hours straight....then I would be over the moon. But, they are sleeping about, I am not going to complain and know that with time things will get better.

More positives are that they are smiling a ton. It makes my heart melt. They also are able to "play" - kicking on their play mat's, or sitting in their bouncy seats and are happy doing it.

13 days til I go back to work - lots of anxiety.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Yes, another D&C

If you can believe it, I ended up having another D&C yesterday.

Two weeks after the first D&C I was still bleeding, so the dr had me get an u/s. And shocking to all still showed "stuff" in there. My options were another D&C, pills and waiting it out with potential of a D&C anyway.

Obviously, with a 2 year old and twins at home, I would need lots of help when having a D&C.....and my parents are headed out of town next week. So, based on this along with a gut feeling we went ahead with it. We decided on Wednesday and scheduled it for Friday. So, I spent Wed & Thur in a fog - pissed, sad, scared, depressed. I now only have 2 weeks left of maternity leave and this is what I have to deal with. Seriously??

Anyway, it's over - and it went much better than the first one (IV, no throwing up after) - but yes, they found tissue. We'll see what the pathology report says. And beforehand Dr and me had the talk about a possible, that was my first question when I came to. Let's hope it is all taken care of b/c I am scared to death that would be the only other option.

A year ago tomorrow these sweet twins were conceived in Lone Tree!!! Unbelievable!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

2 months!

When people said the first few months are a blur - they are right! I have a post in the works of a week by week update.

For now - we had their 2 month update yesterday (and they are 9 weeks today). Best part of being 2 months old....the smiles :) And they watch Charlotte like a hawk! Worst thing - that I "think" they should be sleeping longer and although we have had some awesome nights (6 hours between feedings = 5 hours of straight sleep) we seem to always take 2 steps forward and one back.

Bennett is now 14 lbs 8 oz. Holy Cow!! Violet is 11 lbs - my little sweet princess. I am so happy they are thriving - and the doctor was pleased with their growth and milestones as well.

Thank goodness my mom came with me b/c we had Charlotte in tow b/c she has gone from strep to impetigo to fifths disease. It has been crazy - but she is much better now! We were all exhausted after 90 mins at the dr!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

It was Placenta

Yikes....kind of crazy. I guess it is usually that it didn't cause a problem until 7 weeks postpartum.

So, last week I was in the hospital and recovering and this week my 2 1/2 year old has a really wicked case of strep throat. Not really the ending to the maternity leave I had envisioned.

I have 3 weeks to figure out how to shrink my ass and belly so my work pants fit. hmmmmm.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Sub.Involusion = Hospital Stay = D&C

When I was at my very lowest wondering how I would even handle this "new" life I started bleeding.

Kind of graphic and long......

Like, can't get off the toilet bad. Scary bad. It was last Sunday night. I called the on-call dr about 30 mins after it started. We agreed that I should wait an hour and if it slowed to wait to go to the office in the morning. (reminder 7 weeks post partum). In the morning I was with the babies waiting for the dr office to open to call to make an appt - when it started again. Worse. My MIL was here so she helped pack me a hospital bag and get the babies down for nap - and I wrote out a schedule for her and told my DH to get home to take me to the dr. We made it there at 10am and it had slowed - then the dr did an internal exam and hell broke loose. Then, they did an u/s to look for retained placenta. I was a MESS. I could barely walk, I was dizzy, and I was scared. They didn't see anything of note in the u/s but sent me to the hospital. Guess what, the bleeding slowed again. I pumped in the car and we headed in. They gave me fluids and meth.ergine to help my uterus contract. No more bleeding -but they wanted me to stay overnight. Dr said probably my first heavy period. I doubted it b/c I am breastfeeding and with Charlotte I didn't get it for many months. They seriously didn't think it could be placenta b/c I had an c/s.

Side note: this happened to my sister with both her pregnancies and to my mom. I thought I got away with it b/c it didn't happen with Charlotte but with all this bleeding I knew it had to be "it".

So, the rest of Monday I didn't bleed I rested, rested and pumped alot and thought I was in the clear. Well, the next morning I was all ready for my "release" when I got up and it started happening!! Ugh!!! I was so happy my actual dr is on-call on Tuesday's so she came in to see me - decided to do another u/s and then based on that possibly a d&c. Yikes. Well, by 9:30 I was getting an u/s and then at 10 was told I was headed in for a d&c. I barely got a call out to my DH. My dr decided on this b/c my lining was unusually thick and b/c of my family history (although no one will admit this is hereditary). She thought it was something called a sub.involusion. So, when I got to the operating room my IV wasn't in, so they had to try like 4 times - it hurt like hell and I was crying like a baby. I didn't want to be there. Finally, finally it was in and I was OUT.

I woke up sick as a dog and in wicked pain. What a horrible thing to go through and all I could think is about how I have babies at home. All the women who have had to do that when having a miscarriage - that heartbreak would be too much to bear.

Turns out they did find tissue - sent to pathology to determine if it was placenta or not. Dr also used an u/s during the procedure and said it was a good thing she did otherwise they would have missed it and I would have been back. The thought is a nightmare.

They made me stay ANOTHER night. Holy cow....but it was a good thing as I was feeling horrible and would have never gotten the rest at home. My parents came when I came home and did everything for me while I slept a ton. It was so nice, yet made me feel like I am back to square 1. I have to take it easy until my follow-up appt on Thur.

So, that's my story. I am sharing b/c it is NOT normal to still be bleeding at 7 weeks post-partum.

So, is it hereditary or b/c I had twins? I wonder????

Babies are great - I need to dedicate a post to that b/c things got SO.MUCH.BETTER between 6 & 7 weeks. Weeks 4-6 are HARD.

Thanks for reading!!!

Friday, July 29, 2011


I needed a reminder so I went back and read this post. I remember those few days waiting on fert reports and how a mess I was. I was desperate for our adventure to CCRM to be a success.

Why do I need a reminder? Well, b/c this is hard. Hard in a different way than expected. Hard in a way I find challenging to explain. Hard, b/c I feel guilty that I think it is hard when this is all I wanted.

The babies are amazing. Cute, cuddly, and growing. Charlotte is a very good big sister - she helps burp them and holds Violet's hand in the car, and just wants to hug and kiss them.

What's hard? The lack of sleep, the change in our normal life and coming to realize life will be a different normal for a long while, the demands of breastfeeding, the supplementing of formula and all the feelings that go with that, the middle of the night decisions, the list goes on.

I love these babies with all that I have - and that part is not hard.