3 years ago....in a petri dish

Back when we started down the IVF road I didn't have a blog - so I went old school and wrote it all in a journal. I pulled the journal out to use for to-do lists preparing for the babies and had it on the coffee table. Charlotte found it, grabbed a pen, and started drawing in it. When I looked over she was coloring on-top of some of my "entries". Made me think back 3 years when I noticed she was on May 23rd.....2008. It was retrieval day of my second IVF. 18 eggs retrieved and in the lab they were fertilizing...and now one of them is the little girl who made me a mother. Asleep upstairs in her big girl bed.....the last thing she told me was "sweet dreams, mommy". If she only knew all the hopes and dreams I have had for years and years. I am so glad she made my dream of being a mommy come true.

Maybe I needed this today because I am pretty down and out. I am feeling pretty horrible and needed some perspective. Four weeks from tomorrow is my c-section (chanting in head I can do-it, I can do-it). Right, I can? I feel crazy for still working full-time but I am so set on getting my 12 weeks after they are born - so I am sucking it up now. I am only in the office 2 days/week (and work from my couch all other days). To mentally get through today I decided I am going to take one PTO day each week.

Itching for all the updates from the girls this far along....how are you feeling? Any sleep suggestions? We can do-it!!

Maternity Pics

Happy Mother's day to all you momma-to-be's! We celebrated on Saturday by having my dear friend take some belly shots for us! It was quick, easy, and they are awesome!! I am so grateful for my friend. We spent the day at my parents and I was able to keep my feet up most of the day - which is good b/c my kankles are HUGE!

Sunday was a little rough for me. I was very emotional....Mother's day was rough for many years and I know so many people who are still struggling. I gave Charlotte so many kisses and hugged her tight, knowing she made me a mother. And when thinking about how there will be 2 more, I could barely handle the emotions.

Six weeks from tomorrow is my scheduled c-section (just before 38 weeks). Wow. On one hand it is so close, on the other, I have no idea how I am going to make it. My body hurts, sleeping is difficult, I can't breathe, heartburn is killer, and I just feel trapped in my own body. But, I feel these babies move, hold my hand tight to my belly and whisper to them.....it is amazing. And I am pretty sure this is the last time I will be pregnant, and that makes me cherish it a little more. I can easily remember all those thoughts of wondering if I would ever experience this and here I am, so very lucky. CCRM rocks!!!

Here are a couple of pics from the weekend. We have an u/s on Thursday....will update with progress then.

The Swab Test

Well, I have had my first run-in with "Are these real contractions - HOLY SH!T"

I will be 29 weeks tomorrow. These babies are no where near ready to enter this oxygen breathing world.

Monday night only an hour after going to bed I am awoken by a dream where I am in lots of pain....well, turns out I really was. I was having Braxton Hicks that hurt like hell. I went down to the couch and started timing them.....there were a lot....and they were coming fast. So, I set a time (60 minutes later) at which point I would call the on-call dr. I drank a big glass of water while dealing with them.....and luckily 15 minutes before the deadline they subsided.

In the morning I got ready for work and planned to call the office - and guess what, they started again. So, the office wanted me to come in, thankfully. They did the NST for about an hour....and not one contraction. They also decided to do the fetal fibronectin swab. It came back negative - which is an indication I will not have these babies in the next 2 weeks.

So, all turned out ok. But wow.....so many emotions I went through. Even though I am less than comfortable I am not ready to not be pregnant anymore....I do not want to spend my maternity leave visiting the NICU.

I have been reading so many other people going through similar things and this is my first "incident". I hope it is the last.....at least for 5 or more weeks. Preferably until June 21st if I can be picky.

On a fun note - I had a shower this past weekend! It was wonderful!! Almost a little surreal that it was for me and for TWO babies!

Names?!

How much fun coming up with 2 names for 2 miracles. Names that we will say over and over, names that will become a part of our hearts and souls.

A little bit of pressure?

Our 2 year old is Charlotte Mary. Charlotte took us awhile and Mary is my mom's name as well as her mom's name. I am a believer that the middle name should be a family name - so that is the same way we will be leaning this time.

For Baby A, our little girl, we will most likely be naming her Violet. Our second choice is Kate. Any thoughts?

For Baby B, our little boy, we are LOST! There are some names I like but DH doesn't. There are names I am not sure "go with" Violet. But, does that matter? We both like Landon, I like Bennett (DH doesn't), I like Marshall (DH is only okay with it), My DH likes Grayson but I am not that thrilled with it.

Any other ideas?

26 Weeks (Let's see some belly)

I have been doing a lot of complaining. And when I go down that road I remind myself how lucky I am and how this is exactly what I wanted......but man, carrying these babies is hard and my body is taking it harder! After realizing this I came down with the WORST cold/sinus infection ever. I mean EVAH!! So, when I am better I am going to feel amazing - only being pregnant with twins!!!

Had an appt today (26 weeks) and I am up 30lbs....yay! I am measuring 32 weeks. Yikes! I am feeling Baby B much much more than Baby A. I can see Baby B's kicks and can even feel body parts now. The most I get with Baby A is a kick way down there. Any of you experience this too?

So for fun - some pics.....

First a picture from today and then comparing to my singleton pregnancy. Yep, definitely look more like 32 weeks!

Moving along....

On Thursday I was 25 weeks which felt like a big milestone! At our 24 week ultrasound each baby was approaching 2 lbs - so the doc was very pleased! I wonder if it is going to be hard to stop eating as much as I am once they are here?!?!? We also scheduled the c-section - I was surprised they do it this early but in any case we know the date the babies may be born! It would be wonderful to make it to that day.

Charlotte is officially in her new room in her new bed! All went well - whew! So, we are working on tweaking her nursery into the twins nursery! We put up the new crib, put the bedding on and rearranged the furniture. Now, I am going to work on the wall decorations - so much fun! I do want to do the wooden letters of their names but that requires a decision. We are having a hard time with boy names. For baby girl we are down to 2....maybe in the next few weeks we will decide.

I am definitely big. Yesterday a woman at the store thought I was due "in a few weeks". HA. Try a few months. Or 3. OMG. It is getting hard to walk - I feel like a prisoner in my body. I will do another belly pic later this week.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

22 Weeks - Belly Compare!

Time seems to have slowed down......things were zipping by with the holidays, my birthday, Charlotte's birthday, a crazy work deadline, hunting for a minivan and all of a sudden I am left feeling like "Now What". It is good things have slowed down b/c my body is demanding it. The most glamorous part of pregnancy for me are the varicose veins in my legs and vulva (probably don't want me to explain further). I have purchased compression stockings as I am in pretty bad pain after standing for 30 minutes so even grocery shopping has become difficult. I had these with my first pregnancy but of course it appeared more like week 30 - not week 20. But, I am hoping with the stockings everything will go back to normal later this year.

Although I was nervous for the 20 week anatomy scan - everything went great. She was able to check out all organs and both babies looked great. They were even measuring 4 and 6 days ahead! According to Dr. Luke's book I should have gained 25 lbs by 20 weeks.....I was only up 17lb. So, I added protein shakes into my nightly routine and as of yesterday was up to 25lbs! I have really started feleing the babies move - baby boy I see kicking from the outside and I love keeping my hand on my belly to feel his taps. Since baby girl is lower I feel her movements inside...which is a bit weird. Besides the veins I feel pretty good except for being completely exhausted. On the weekends I religiously take a 2 hour nap each day. But being this tired doesn't leave much time for me to hang out or talk to my friends - I feel kind of like I am hiding out - which I feel very guilty / sad about. But then I remember - I am growing TWINS!!

So, as for "Now What".....I go back in 2 weeks for another u/s and will do the 1 hour glucose test. I am moving Charlotte to her new big girl room next week so then I can work on "tweaking" her old room back into a nursery - with an extra crib! I am very excited about this!! I can start filling the drawers with burp clothes, hand-made hats, paci's, pink and blue small onsies and sit in the nursery chair and dream about our baby boy and baby girl. Sounds wonderful to me.

As for belly shots.....I compared week 22 with this pregnancy vs. my singleton pregnancy...When looking through my old photos my belly now looks like week 29 with a singleton. Yikes!!!


Twins!


Singleton! (and Tan!!)