3 years ago....in a petri dish

Back when we started down the IVF road I didn't have a blog - so I went old school and wrote it all in a journal. I pulled the journal out to use for to-do lists preparing for the babies and had it on the coffee table. Charlotte found it, grabbed a pen, and started drawing in it. When I looked over she was coloring on-top of some of my "entries". Made me think back 3 years when I noticed she was on May 23rd.....2008. It was retrieval day of my second IVF. 18 eggs retrieved and in the lab they were fertilizing...and now one of them is the little girl who made me a mother. Asleep upstairs in her big girl bed.....the last thing she told me was "sweet dreams, mommy". If she only knew all the hopes and dreams I have had for years and years. I am so glad she made my dream of being a mommy come true.

Maybe I needed this today because I am pretty down and out. I am feeling pretty horrible and needed some perspective. Four weeks from tomorrow is my c-section (chanting in head I can do-it, I can do-it). Right, I can? I feel crazy for still working full-time but I am so set on getting my 12 weeks after they are born - so I am sucking it up now. I am only in the office 2 days/week (and work from my couch all other days). To mentally get through today I decided I am going to take one PTO day each week.

Itching for all the updates from the girls this far along....how are you feeling? Any sleep suggestions? We can do-it!!

Maternity Pics

Happy Mother's day to all you momma-to-be's! We celebrated on Saturday by having my dear friend take some belly shots for us! It was quick, easy, and they are awesome!! I am so grateful for my friend. We spent the day at my parents and I was able to keep my feet up most of the day - which is good b/c my kankles are HUGE!

Sunday was a little rough for me. I was very emotional....Mother's day was rough for many years and I know so many people who are still struggling. I gave Charlotte so many kisses and hugged her tight, knowing she made me a mother. And when thinking about how there will be 2 more, I could barely handle the emotions.

Six weeks from tomorrow is my scheduled c-section (just before 38 weeks). Wow. On one hand it is so close, on the other, I have no idea how I am going to make it. My body hurts, sleeping is difficult, I can't breathe, heartburn is killer, and I just feel trapped in my own body. But, I feel these babies move, hold my hand tight to my belly and whisper to them.....it is amazing. And I am pretty sure this is the last time I will be pregnant, and that makes me cherish it a little more. I can easily remember all those thoughts of wondering if I would ever experience this and here I am, so very lucky. CCRM rocks!!!

Here are a couple of pics from the weekend. We have an u/s on Thursday....will update with progress then.