10 days

I haven't written because I have no idea where to begin (oh, and b/c I am kinda busy!).

Today is the 10th day with our miracles. And every day I feel luckier than the last.

As far as the birth story.... I can't really talk about it to people b/c I end up crying. Everything went according to plan but it was super emotional for me but yet hard to explain exactly what part. Maybe getting the spinal alone in an OR and having a nurse poke me over and over to check how numb I was - and I really just wanted to hold Josh's hand. Knowing behind the blue drape I was having major surgery was a bit hard for me - feeling the pulling and tugging - somewhat wishing they would just knock me out. Feeling nauseous and freezing at the same time. But then, it was time for the babies to come out and everything got better. First Baby A - our little girl Violet was born - I saw her for a second over the drape and was chanting - cry baby cry - seemed to take forever. Then, they moved on to Baby B - also seemed to take forever - the drape got lower and lower so Josh got a pretty interesting video. You can see Baby B's whole body out but his head seemed stuck. Then out he came - and they all immediately commented how big he was. Then all the cleaning, weighing, etc happened. Josh was able to walk over while I was still stuck behind the drape - feeling nauseous yet again. The rest is a blur including being in the recovery room. What I do remember is beginning to breastfeed. Violet was handed to me first. I obsessed over who and how the first try would happen - and guess what, it just happens. She was done first so they gave her to me. My wonderful OB was in the room as well as a nurse who helped little Violet latch almost immediately. Right about then I really got nauseous again and the vomiting started. So, I was nursing and vomiting in a big simultaneously. I bet I looked awesome. Bennett came next and I think it took him a bit longer to latch (and did for about 48 hours) but he took to the boob! Talk about a happy mama!



The rest of the hospital stay was pretty challenging. Days were fine but napping was challenging b/c of all the tests and vitals to be taken, etc. Nights were very very very hard. By the last night I was a total wreck. Not much sleep and anxious to get home. And an emotional basket case on top of it. We got home to my parents staying in our house - at first we took our exhaustion out on them - being very grumpy. They were so supportive and made us sleep and helped get us back on track. I can't thank them enough!!

Since being home everything has gotten better and better. The nights have been rough but they too have gotten more manageable. More in another post.

Violet and Bennett are amazing - I kiss them a million times a day and can't believe they are here to stay. I will post again about our schedule and other things as it may help someone! I pretty much only tandem breastfeed which is working great! I feel so very lucky. As I type this I am watching the monitor as they are in Violet's crib all snuggled next to each other. Swoon.

Hope everyone is well.