I needed a reminder so I went back and read this post. I remember those few days waiting on fert reports and how a mess I was. I was desperate for our adventure to CCRM to be a success.
Why do I need a reminder? Well, b/c this is hard. Hard in a different way than expected. Hard in a way I find challenging to explain. Hard, b/c I feel guilty that I think it is hard when this is all I wanted.
The babies are amazing. Cute, cuddly, and growing. Charlotte is a very good big sister - she helps burp them and holds Violet's hand in the car, and just wants to hug and kiss them.
What's hard? The lack of sleep, the change in our normal life and coming to realize life will be a different normal for a long while, the demands of breastfeeding, the supplementing of formula and all the feelings that go with that, the middle of the night decisions, the list goes on.
I love these babies with all that I have - and that part is not hard.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
4 weeks!
It is unbelievable that the babies are 4 weeks old today. I can't tell if time has gone fast or slow.
Things are hard. I won't lie. When we first got home the babies mostly slept. And my parents were here to help. So, the dishes got done, naps taken, food made, etc.
Now, they still sleep a lot but not as much. And it is more work to get them to go to sleep. And more work when they are awake. We have been trying to have "awake time" but they both want to be held.....and there is only me. So, I feel like one baby is always neglected and crying which makes awake time stressful.
Last week I hit a wall with the night time wakings. But, there really is no solution so I am sucking it up. We had a fabulous Sunday night where we slept from 11 to 7 and only woke to eat from 3-4. So, I know it HAS to get better. Bennett is always the one to wake up and initiate the feeding - it seems Violet will keep on sleeping but Mommy won't let her! The real culprit is Charlotte - she is up and in our room at 7.....if that weren't the case we could sleep in longer. But, she brightens my morning.
Breastfeeding is still going well!! I really don't mind it at all. Seems crazy - I know I am lucky.
Who knew one handed typing was so hard....Bennett is being needy. Again, so lucky.
Things are hard. I won't lie. When we first got home the babies mostly slept. And my parents were here to help. So, the dishes got done, naps taken, food made, etc.
Now, they still sleep a lot but not as much. And it is more work to get them to go to sleep. And more work when they are awake. We have been trying to have "awake time" but they both want to be held.....and there is only me. So, I feel like one baby is always neglected and crying which makes awake time stressful.
Last week I hit a wall with the night time wakings. But, there really is no solution so I am sucking it up. We had a fabulous Sunday night where we slept from 11 to 7 and only woke to eat from 3-4. So, I know it HAS to get better. Bennett is always the one to wake up and initiate the feeding - it seems Violet will keep on sleeping but Mommy won't let her! The real culprit is Charlotte - she is up and in our room at 7.....if that weren't the case we could sleep in longer. But, she brightens my morning.
Breastfeeding is still going well!! I really don't mind it at all. Seems crazy - I know I am lucky.
Who knew one handed typing was so hard....Bennett is being needy. Again, so lucky.
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